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Nathan Lane's Mother Wished He Was Dead Upon Coming Out
22 Apr
Summary
- Lane's mother expressed she'd rather he be dead than gay.
- His mother immediately told his brothers after he asked her not to.
- Lane publicly came out in 1999, inspired by Matthew Shepard's story.

Actor Nathan Lane shared a deeply emotional memory of coming out to his mother. He recalled the moment he revealed he was seeing a man, to which his mother responded with profound sadness, stating she would rather he were dead. Lane quickly replied, "I knew you'd understand," noting his mother's generation and lack of sophistication on the matter.
Lane felt compelled to be honest with his mother, though he was hurt when she immediately called his brothers, Bob and Dan, against his wishes. His brother Dan, a teacher, engaged in a long, understanding conversation, though he questioned if it was a phase. Another brother expressed unwavering love and acceptance.
In 1999, years after his role in 'The Birdcage,' Lane publicly shared his identity in an interview. This decision was partly inspired by the story of Matthew Shepard, who was murdered for being gay.