What is relational trauma from childhood?

Relational trauma can stem from witnessing a parent's pattern of being an overgiver or people pleaser, leading children to internalize these behaviors and equate love with self-neglect.

What are signs of hidden childhood trauma?

Signs include chronic guilt when saying no, difficulty expressing needs, heightened relationship anxiety, or a persistent sense of emptiness.

How can one overcome the impact of parental people-pleasing?

Recognizing these learned behaviors and seeking therapy like CBT or inner child work, alongside practicing boundary-setting and self-compassion, can help build healthier patterns.

Home / Lifestyle / Childhood Trauma Isn't Always Obvious

Childhood Trauma Isn't Always Obvious

3 Feb

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Summary

Trauma can stem from witnessing parental people-pleasing behavior.
Children may internalize parental self-neglect as love.
Therapy helps challenge self-worth beliefs and set boundaries.

Childhood trauma often involves more than overt abuse or life-threatening situations. According to Anusha Dandekar, witnessing a parent's constant people-pleasing can lead to internalized patterns. Psychologist Rasshi Gurnani explains that this vicarious learning can cause children to equate love with self-neglect or believe their worth depends on pleasing others.

This subtle form of relational trauma can manifest in adults through chronic guilt, anxiety, and difficulty expressing needs. These behaviors, often unrecognized, can lead to codependency or perfectionism, eroding self-esteem. Therapy, including CBT and inner child work, helps individuals challenge these ingrained beliefs.

Breaking free involves recognizing these learned behaviors and setting boundaries. Techniques such as assertiveness training and self-compassion build resilience. Surrounding oneself with supportive relationships further reinforces healthier relational patterns, promoting emotional well-being and authentic self-expression.