Love or Control? Therapist Weighs In

Kier Gaines, a licensed therapist and author, recently joined Olivia Ponton on her podcast, "Booked, Blonde & Busy," to discuss the blurred lines between love and control. Ponton, known for her modeling career and popular TikTok presence, initiated a conversation about the allure of "book boyfriends" in romance and fantasy novels.

Ponton highlighted characters like Xaden from "Fourth Wing," whose secrecy is framed as protection, questioning why this often reads as love to readers. Gaines emphasized that when a partner's actions, even if intended to protect, strip away an individual's autonomy and ability to make informed decisions, it moves into the realm of control.

Gaines advised listeners to avoid the trap of believing they are someone's "exception." He stressed that a person's true nature will eventually reveal itself, and temporary immunity from negative behavior does not equate to genuine affection or equality in a relationship.